Friday, November 2, 2007
What follows is a conversation heard in the office of Mike Stofile.
Giles!! get your college boy ass in here!!
Yes mister Stofile?
Giles, what's this shit I hear Jake White's going to go see the president? That motherfucker. I know he's going over there to bitch about me. does he know what happens to snitches in SARFU? Giles, take that spoon there and fashion a knife out of it.
Right away sir...
Actually wait. We can do this some other way. I'ma go over to Thabo's office myself and cock block that craker. Yeah and then....
Um...
You got something to say, sweater vest?
Well it's just sir.. you are no longer allowed within 50 feet of mister Thabo Mbeki.
What Kind of Bullshit is that? When did this happen?
Remember the time you showed up unannounced at his office during his big meeting with the German chancellor?
Yeah, I briefly ran into him while entertaining a few business acquaintances.
Sir... you showed up drunk with five hookers. You spilled Krystal all over the German chancellor, and offered him the..ahem services of your friends.
Hey, first of all homeboy, I didn't spill shit okay? I was sharing. And secondly that kraut motherfucker was loving the attention of my beautiful black honeys. That bitch was about 3 seconds away from having a chocolate covered bratwurst. I don't see no crime, why all the fuss?
Sir you tried to sell the president of South Africa cannabis.
You know how hard it is to find good weed in Sandton? I was doing the brother a favour. and you know my prices can't be beat.
All the same sir, the president would like to keep his distance until this blows over.
Whatever. But what am I going to do about this honkey trying to fuck me over? I know what he's thinking, he's gonna be all like whaaaa transformations, merit selections. boo fucking hoo. And you know that sneaky motherfucker is going to compare Thabo to Nelson Mandela with the world cup in '95. Nothing makes that brother cream like Mandela comparisons. An next thing you know I'll have to start laying off him and not wedgie him in the hallways. Well fuck that.
Giles go slash Jake's tyres.
Sir Jake is in Cape Town.
Then go slash Thabo's
You want me to slash the tyres of the president of South Africa? Sir I know I said I'd do any.....
I don't hear any slashing bitch?!?!?!
Sigh.....yes sir.
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