Friday, November 2, 2007



What follows is a conversation heard in Mike Stofile's office (possibly picked up by a bug left over from the Straeuli regime. Stofile on the phone....)


Hello....Is this the newspaper? The one that caters to white folks? Yeah, this is The Honorable intergalactic funkalicious Mike Stofile here, and I gots something to say.


Go ahead sir.


You and I have come a long way mister newspaper, whenever I feel like people are starting to forget me, or I forget what I sound like, I can just call you up and let my shit flow. I don't need a media liaison, or PR or any of that shit. cause you and I we got special bond, like fuckin....Amos and Andy and shit.


I'm glad to hear that sir.


So it is with great ease that I say: fuck Jake White. Fuck that cracker. Not only does he not like black people, he don't even like white people who like black people. That's why he didn't pick Luke because, because his daddy, Cheecky, was tight with the brothers. You know what they used to call Cheecky? White Chocolate, you know, on account of him being so white and all. Hehe that was funny, until ...uh, until Cheeky called Jermaine.. uh.... ebony chocolate, and Cheecky got his ass kicked, but it was a misunderstanding they made up.


That's not why I called though. So Jake didn't pick him again this year, but my boy Reagan had other plans. See Jake didn't know this but that whiteboy is going to be in that squad , even if we gotta kick some brothers out. This shit is about principal now.


That sounds counter productive to transforma.....


Motherfucker, I will counter produce my foot up your ass if you interrupt me again..... So anyway, I got our boy Luke in there, And would you believe it, that sneaky white motherfucker goes and cuts him from the touring squad. Weeell, we'll just fuckin see about that, That honkey will play for that team even if I have to handcuff his pale ass to the referee. Aint nothing happens in this team without my say so. I am the fucking Dalai Llama of the Springboks.


So do you feel qualified to second guess the coach on key issues such as these?


Qualified? Motherfucker I own this team. I know every player, every set piece. Every opponent. there is nothing about this game I do not kick major ass in. all of those other suckers are just dead weight, I'm the guy who makes shit happen.


Have you considered whether or not Luke's forced entry into the team may be detrimental to the teams' world cup chances?


World Cup? what the fuck are you talking about? that shit was months ago, we sent those alcoholics over to the Caribbean. what has that shit got to do with Luke Watson?


No sir, the Rugby World Cup. Later this year.


They got a world cup for that shit? ......huh. Howcome White didn't say anything to me. Hmmp... White, what the hell kind a name is that anyhow. You know who we should've got to coach this team? Denzel Washington. you ever see that movie where Denzel coached the football team with the white kids, and he gets some bothers in there, and they all fighting and shit. Then he kicks all the white kids out and wins the NBA championship while stopping the plane from crashing.......


uh, no I don't think that's how....


Yeah you're right it was a good movie. Look, all I'm saying is that I just want the best player in the team, selected not by colour but by Merit, now is that asking too much?


Eh.... but surely if you force the inclusion of one player, you're contradict.......


Thaaaat's nice of you to say, but I've got lots of calls to make, so I gotta get going. Hey um... can you e-mail me the details on this world cup thing. I might go check that out.


sigh... yes sir.


Thanks. peace out.

Posted by CounterRuck @ 4:53 AM