Monday, May 14, 2007
well... that happened
Oh where to begin? Should I start slowly and seductively with the rock hard grinding of the Sharks forward pack? should I tease a little with the agile running lines of Waylon Murray, Frans Steyn and JP Peterson? Maybe I could get you going with a little raw pace from Bryan Habanna and the Ndungane boys? Since we're running out of time though, I think I'll just explode all over your face with the sheer power and abrasiveness of mesrs. Skinstad, Spies, Kankowski, Venter and Du Plessis.
This weekend I saw 44 good reasons why, If there was a world cup in South Africa, They should just fedex the fucking cup over. no need to worry about planes and airport lines and training schedules. Just stay home, play some PlayStation3 and forget about coming. Unfortunately the world cup is in France, but we'll worry about that later.
The SA teams were always going to win this one. They players just wanted it more, they tackled, cleaned out rucks, punched up field, like crazy folks. We all know and hate rugby cliche's. I for one am violently affected every time I hear phrases like "telling tackle" (telling? telling who? the guy being tackled? he fucking knows trust me). Or "Servant of the game" (don't get me started on that one.) But one cliche rang true for me. "there were 22 men of the match". It was true, but I still get the shits when commentators say it, (maybe I just don't like commentators.) Actually I take that back I fucking love Warren Brosnihan. He's like a wrestling commentator, everything that happens sounds like he just shot his load, very inspiring. Anyway, I digress.
The other reason the for the whitewash, was that the kiwis were in a bad place. Firstly there was the Ali Williams saga. Seriously, if you were just kicked out of your team, not just by management, but by your peers, I'll bet you'd place a couple of 'telling' calls to Sharks management. "G'day Dick, It's Ali here mate. how ya going. I just wanted to let you know, if Kevin yells red ball, or number two ball, get your boys to jump on Rawlinson, yeah... Greg, the iron-jawed motherfucker who took my place. While you're at it, he has a dodgy left knee, see what you can do there. thanks. bye." Then there were 3 or 4 Crusaders, effectively in exile while in SA. You see Rua Tipoki, Caleb Ralph, and a few others, got into a big 'ol street fight before leaving on a jet plane. So when they landed in SA they found out that when they return to the rainy isle, they are going to get hauled in by johnny law. Could you keep your mind on the task at hand if you were facing the very real possibility of having your next few breakfasts consisting of scrambled eggs and prison sex? I didn't think so.
All in all I cannot be more pleased with the outcome of this years Super 14 so far. South African teams proved that we can still be a threat to anyone (the Lions beat the Crusaders, for fuck sake) New Zealand teams proved they are fallible, and Australian teams proved that for 6 million dollars you can get you're very own dreadlocked spectator, the narcissism comes free. All is not champaign and cheerleaders though, you see this week we stick 44 of our best players, 44 shards of our world cup dream into one big meat grinder and seeing what survives. Local derbies are usually about fucking the other guy up. Last year the last game between the Sharks and Stormers cost us one Butch, one Jean and almost a Schalk, and that wasn't even a semi let alone a final. I can just see us having to take the entire Stormers team to the world cup as Springboks. What a fucking mess that would be.
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