Sunday, March 4, 2007
is this it?
Having supported just about every South African sporting team known to man. (including that awkward roman grecco wrestling event.) I can show you a lifetime of despair and near misses. Let's face it, in my adult life, SA sport (rugby in particular) has not displayed a satisfactory statistical curve. Far too often have we been the victims of failure and mediocrity. There have been exceptions, the 95 RWC, that incredible cricket match. but more often than not the rub of the green has sodomised us. What that does to your psyche, is give you a sort of predisposition to failure. "We lost 49 -0?" eh, I can believe that. "We killed and ate the opposition coach" sure, why not. But what it also does is leave you not knowing how to deal with success. Example? this past weekend.
I watched the Cheetahs draw with the Chiefs, the WORST team in super rugby, and I figured "here we go....again." Then the Stormers beat the Hurricanes. Wow, that's very impressive, and very useful, points wise, but we've just cashed in all our karma chips, the rest of the teams are fucked. Then the Bulls beat the Brumbies, away from home. I thought, uh oh, we're dipping into next weeks karma now. Still, a welcome sight. Then I started to panic, the Lions beat the reds, also away from home! The Lions never win away from home, what manner of warlock is responsible for such parlour tricks.
So it's 2AM the Sharks, unbeaten, are about to face the 6 time champions, and we've already made 3 deals with the devil, we have no more souls to give. So we're facing an end to the unbeaten run, right? WELL, so it seemed. The Sharks did just about everything to lose that game, missed chances, aimless kicks, you name it, they did it. Trailing by 6 with no time left, Adi Jacobs breaks free, unloads to Ndungane for a questionable try in the corner. Aah well, good effort, but history has proven that if we can get fucked at a crucial moment, we inevitably will. TMO says try awarded!?!, really? but why? OOH I know why, because it will be a much more dramatic ass-reaming if the kicker misses the kick for the winning points. I forget that there are people supposed to enjoy our misery. See young Ruaan lining up? that's a one in a million kick and he's just going to do it, in overtime for the game. Sure. He's about to become this generations' Ray Finkle. Laces out? And then........he nails it! A cold sweat erupts in me as I await the coming of the four horsemen. surely these victories are blatant heresy, an act against God. How can a week of super rugby go by with no South African Losses?
All I know is that the sky did not turn to blood, the demon did not arise from the seas, and there are 3 SA sides in the top four. On a related note if anyone gave birth over this weekend, please, please check you childs' head for the number 666, I don't mean to scare you but you may have spawned the anti-christ.
I watched the Cheetahs draw with the Chiefs, the WORST team in super rugby, and I figured "here we go....again." Then the Stormers beat the Hurricanes. Wow, that's very impressive, and very useful, points wise, but we've just cashed in all our karma chips, the rest of the teams are fucked. Then the Bulls beat the Brumbies, away from home. I thought, uh oh, we're dipping into next weeks karma now. Still, a welcome sight. Then I started to panic, the Lions beat the reds, also away from home! The Lions never win away from home, what manner of warlock is responsible for such parlour tricks.
So it's 2AM the Sharks, unbeaten, are about to face the 6 time champions, and we've already made 3 deals with the devil, we have no more souls to give. So we're facing an end to the unbeaten run, right? WELL, so it seemed. The Sharks did just about everything to lose that game, missed chances, aimless kicks, you name it, they did it. Trailing by 6 with no time left, Adi Jacobs breaks free, unloads to Ndungane for a questionable try in the corner. Aah well, good effort, but history has proven that if we can get fucked at a crucial moment, we inevitably will. TMO says try awarded!?!, really? but why? OOH I know why, because it will be a much more dramatic ass-reaming if the kicker misses the kick for the winning points. I forget that there are people supposed to enjoy our misery. See young Ruaan lining up? that's a one in a million kick and he's just going to do it, in overtime for the game. Sure. He's about to become this generations' Ray Finkle. Laces out? And then........he nails it! A cold sweat erupts in me as I await the coming of the four horsemen. surely these victories are blatant heresy, an act against God. How can a week of super rugby go by with no South African Losses?
All I know is that the sky did not turn to blood, the demon did not arise from the seas, and there are 3 SA sides in the top four. On a related note if anyone gave birth over this weekend, please, please check you childs' head for the number 666, I don't mean to scare you but you may have spawned the anti-christ.
SUPER SCARY UPDATE:
Am I right or what?!?! I read this link after posting this. Trust the SA teams to awaken the beast with their winning ways. Baie fokken dankie
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