Sunday, February 4, 2007

Weekend Roundup.


After all the pre season hype and excitement, and soiled underwear, this is the shit I get. This weekends' rugby really did nothing to impress me. I really hope this is what you call a slow start, because if this is what I have to look forward to for the next 12 weeks, I'm going to turn this into a blog about the magical art of self-felatio.

BLUES 34 Crusaders 25
This one made me smile a little. The Crusaders are like the Yankees, I love seeing them lose even if it is to another NZ team. Unfortunately the Blues are like the Yankees also, in that they're arrogant fucks when they win. A better result would've been if both teams succumbed to a 0 - 0 draw due to a 12 week bout of food poisoning.

FORCE 7 Highlanders 8
This game sucked!! I watched some of it at a bar, and made rest up as I was walking home. This game ultimately proved that the Force aren't very good and that the highlanders are slightly better.

LIONS 16 Warratahs 25
Laugh all you want, but the Lions still looked better than most teams this weekend. At least they managed to cross the fucking try line. That's more than I can say for many other teams. And I'm not one to blame referees, I think it's cheap and childish. But that bastard totally screwed them. Chris Grobler gets nailed for the most marginal of obstructions, and then Phill Waugh runs around picking up blocking assignments like a fucking NFL running back, and gets rewarded with a Rocky Elsom Try!!

CHIEFS 15 Brumbies 21
I didn't even watch this one. but from what I heard the real winners were the crowd from Hamilton. That place is like one big trailer park.

REDS 25 Hurricanes 16
Henry must be a little nervous right now. As it turns out removing all of your All Blacks from the Super 14 may impact one or two of the teams. Especially a team that relies almost entirely on AB's for their forward pack. Thankfully the people of Wellington were SO drunk over the weekend, due to the sevens, I don't think many of them even noticed.

SHARKS 17 Bulls 3
I Worked until 3:30AM, Then came home and stayed up until 8AM to watch this suck-fest. I am a reasonable guy. I don't think I'm being overly critical in asking, why can't anyone catch a goddamn rugby ball, and why, for the love of GOD!! are all South Africans stricken with a disease that makes them instinctively kick a ball as soon as they touch it. In the immortal words of Homer Simpson "Those are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." And all of our SuperStars? exactly, Bryan Habbana is quickly becoming our version of Randy Moss (Promising Rookie, progressively sucks more and more on the way to ignonimity), and Frans Steyn and Ruaan Pienaar showed some pretty bad decision making out there. The only glimmer of hope was Butch James, a fucking sublime off-load was directly responsible for JP Petersons' relatively easy try. The Only thing that sucked more than the game was Ettiene Fynn. However he did get it almost right at halftime, "It's a Hot day out there and I have a feeling the players are going to be blowing in the second half" No No Ettiene, they've been blowing all day long.

CHEETAHS 27 Stormers 9
Being a South African Living in NZ I have the benefit of 5 teams to choose from instead of only one. Sure I have my hometown favourites. but when it comes right down to it I'm just glad when a South African team performs. The Cheetahs performed quite nicely, The Stormers played like overpaid nancy boys. Juan Smith is my Pick for Springbok Captain. He's like Gary Teichman, only faster, and blonder, and plays flank (So not that much then.) the most heart-breaking sight, was that of Brent Russel sitting on the bench while his teammates were getting sodomised. Always a Bridesmaid 'ey Brent.

P.S. What the hell is up with those numbers, It took me half an hour to realise they changed the font, and that it wasn't the yeagermeister talking.

Posted by CounterRuck @ 11:02 AM