Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I'm Breyton Paulse, BItch!!
Hey there. Yeah I see you looking at me, the blond cherrie in the 10th row. I think I'll smile at he....... o fok, the balls out of the scrum, gotta pay attention. Okay, it's with Grant, Grant passes to Jean. aaaaan Jean gets tackled. Bliksems, I broke my sexy gaze for this?? next time I'm staying put. Okay, quickly recycled, go blind side.... BLIND SIDE!! Joubert jou p**s. There were only two guys on my side, and you know I could have sidestepped them. I once sidestepped a bullet. True Story.
Alriiight, Looks like the ball got turned over, that means I get to show the losers in the stands my widow-making defense. Yep, I once tackled a man so hard his left ass cheek.....aaag fok, missed him. donnerse ref was in my way, the next one is toast though. Looks like Anesi broke the line... no problem, my cheetah-like explosiveness will show him, and I mean cheetah as in the animal, not those homos from Bloemfontein. Pfft, so what if they have a solid super rugby track record, I'm Breyton Paulse bitch! I make the rules. Here I come Anesi you little Fijian bastard......REEEF! Johno Gibbs tripped me, I was about to bulldoze over Anesi with my blistering speed, and then he tripped me!?! Uh Breyton.... Johno Gibbs is back in Hamilton. He's Injured. Well someone tripped me, that's the only reason Anesis' lower torso is still in working order, the only explanation! I'll let it go this time, next time there going to be KAK!!
Scrum 10 yards out, this is my speciality. Come on Diack you glory boy sonofabitch, paas. Okay Russel has it. Russel, If you steal my thunder I'll donner you back to Durban. What's this pocket rocket kak anyway, I'm the rocket, I'm the Sputnik and the Deathstar combined. Okay you beat that guy, big deal, I could've beaten him. Shit I could've beater him while running backwards whistling "hie kommie bokke". 3 Yards to go, Russel I have a shank in my sock, you pass that ball or... GOT IT. Now I just fall down and lap up the praise.....I don't care if it was only 3 yards, no one in South Africa could've made that try, that was what Jake refers to as "X Factor". Should I thank Brent for gifting me a try? Fuck that. I'll do a backflip. Hey Johnno, you sneaky, tripping bastard, can you do a backflip? No I didn't think so. I'll bet I can fuck every girl in Newlands right now.
It's good to be Breyton.
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Well apparently it isn't good to be Breyton. Quote of the week:
"...over hyped ageing super stars (read Bryton Paulse)." - Weekend Roundup, 19/02/07.
Where's the consistency, and the spell check on his name?